Near You Always

How do you share a story that doesn't have an ending yet? Or start in the middle when you aren't sure where to begin? My life was forever altered the day I held my sweet girl in my arms but I have lived a lifetime before then and a lifetime since.

I am a mama. I am Ruthie Lou's mama. Soon to be this little boys mama.

My whole life I have waited for these days. To love someone more than you love yourself, to live selflessly for another, to nurture and give my all for the joy of my sweet babies.

Never did I imagine that this would be my journey. Never did I imagine that a heart could hold this much love, this much pain and still have room for more. This is being a mama. This is my heart in your hands.

I imagine this song was written for a lover but there is no greater love than a parent for their child. Ruthie Lou, I have loved you so much more than I could ever imagine. You have filled my heart full enough for a lifetime and I want you near me always...even if it is only thru the love I show your siblings. Each and every moment of each and every day.

Near You Always-Jewel (1994) 

Please don't say I love you,
those words touch me much too deeply
and they make my core tremble
Don't think you realize the effect you have over me
Please don't look at me like that
It just makes me want to make you near me always
Please don't kiss me so sweet
it makes me crave a thousand kisses to follow
And please don't touch me like that
makes every other embrace seem pale and shallow
And please don't come so close
it just makes me want to make you near me always
Please don't bring me flowers
they only whisper the sweet things you'd say
Don't try to understand me
your hands already know too much anyway
It just makes me want to make you near me always
And when you look in my eyes
please know my heart is in your hands
It's nothing that I understand, but when in your arms
you have complete power over me
So be gentle if you please, 'cause
Your hands are in my hair, but my heart is in your teeth
And it makes me want to make you near me always
Your hands are in my hair, but my heart is in your teeth
And it makes me want to make you near me always
I want to be near you always
I want to be near you always
I want to be near you always