One year, ten months.

That's how old you would have been today.

Every month that thought, as the number continues to grow, in an instant brings me to my knees. 

One year, nine months....

since you left my arms 33 days later. I had no choice other than setting you free. I had to let you go but let's be clear,  I didn't want to.

The days keep moving. And moving. And moving.

I love this life. I love my baby Reid. 

and in the same breath

I miss my Ruthie Lou, my sweet precious girl. My heart forever breaks for you. Sometimes I am pretty sure I don't have any idea just how much I am really broken from losing you. 

While I absolutely, hands down, no questions asked, love THIS life, I equally HATE that my daughter is not here to share it with us in the way I planned her to be. 

I am a mama to two children who I will forever love more than life itself.